


New Years Nonsense

by JA_Authoress



Series: Muggle Mishaps [31]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chaos, F/F, F/M, Kissing, M/M, New Years, Nonsense, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JA_Authoress/pseuds/JA_Authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>December 31, 1978</p>
<p>New Year's Eve at the Black-Lupin flat! With Marauders involved, it's really only a matter of time before something goes to pot.</p>
<p>“Put that down or I’m putting my fork somewhere you won’t like.”</p>
<p>“Kinky bugger, aren’t you?  I’m seeing a whole new side of you, Moony!”</p>
<p>“No, it's always been there, he just suppressed it.  A lot.”  </p>
<p>“Padfoot, you can’t just go inviting muggles to wizarding parties all willy-nilly!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Years Nonsense

December 31, 1978  
5:56 p.m.

“Put that down or I’m putting my fork somewhere you won’t like.”

“Kinky bugger, aren’t you. I’m seeing a whole new side of you, Moony!”

“No, it’s always been there, he just suppressed it. A lot.” James put the finishing touches on the table. “Damn, I’m good.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yeah, he practiced setting the table, muggle style, last night. For two hours.” She muttered under her breath to Remus, who nearly choked on his tea.

“Prongs, mate, that looks brilliant! You’re a natural.” Peter clapped from his spot atop the barstool he’d conjured up again. “Padfoot, your turkey napkins are a little sloppy on the far right.”

“Sod off! Moony!”

“Yes, Padfoot.”

“Wormtail is being mean to me.”

Remus subtly waved his wand. The barstool vanished back from whence it came. 

Peter came crashing down with a violent thud, and a lot of swearing.

“I know you two often team up, but really now?” he groaned, sitting up. He glanced at Lily and James, who were fixing Sirius’s turkey napkins, then to Remus and Sirius, who were suspiciously close. 

“You okay down there, Wormy?” Remus had the decency to look somewhat concerned. 

A metaphorical light bulb flicked on in his head. Peter looked between Remus and Sirius several times. 

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then down at Peter.

“So, is this an official thing now?” Peter finally asked, gesturing to the two.

Lily and James watched with rapt curiosity.

Sirius grinned, and held up their laced fingers. “Sure is, mate!”

“Finally!” All three chorused.

“Finally? What do you mean finally?” Sirius demanded. “Moony, what do they mean by ‘finally’?”

Remus laughed. “Don’t worry about it, Padfoot. Did you close off the Floo network for the night?”

“Right! On it!”

Lily sidled up to him as soon as the Animagus was gone. “Congratulations on winning the heart of your man-child. Good luck with that.”

“Cheers, Lily. I’ll need a lot of luck for tonight… and a lot of alcohol. Where’s the drink station?”

8:45 p.m.

The majority of the guests had already arrived. Remus set about getting all the food on the table, and everyone properly hydrated.

“All right! If everyone could take a seat, we’re almost ready!” Sirius announced.

“Can Lily and I switch seats?” Alice asked sweetly. “She’s sitting next to Frank, and James is all the way over here with me. I’m sure there’s been a mix-up—”

“No mix-up, Alice, just thought you’d like to socialize with someone outside of your usual circle.”

Alice’s sweet disposition quickly changed. “Black—”

“Fine! Go ahead, switch, ruin all my careful planning, see if I care.”

“Enjoying yourself, Professor Dumbledore?” Lily asked, once she took her place next to James, who was wisely not next to Dumbledore.

Blue eyes twinkled behind half moon glasses. He had foregone the hat, as per Sirius’s adamant instructions as a ‘strictly muggle New Years. Please refrain from apparating and/or Flooing to the flat’.

“I was surprised to receive an invitation.”

“Colour me equally surprised you made time in your busy schedule to come see us.” Sirius dished out a turkey leg. “My only regret is that McGonagall couldn’t join us.”

“Yes, quite a shame, but it would seem I have a mystery guest to my right to look forward to.”

Remus’s eye twitched again.

“Yes, she should be here soon.”

“She?” Remus whipped his gaze between Sirius, the empty chair, and the door. “Oh, Padfoot, you didn’t.”

Sirius grinned.

“What’s wrong?” Lily reflexively picked up her wand.

“Padfoot, you can’t just go inviting muggles to wizarding parties all willy-nilly!” Remus was going to have a heart attack. There was no way she wouldn’t question this. Wizarding folk were absolutely the least subtle ‘muggles’ there were.

There was a jaunty knock at the door.

Remus tried to leap for it, but he found himself the victim of betrayal as James clapped him heartily around the shoulders. The werewolf made a strange noise in the back of his throat as Sirius threw open the doors.

“Wotcher, Sarah!”

She was quickly ushered into the living room, which had been charmed to be the about three times as large as before.

“Evening everyone!” she said, a little too cheerily. “Sorry I’m late, I brought pie, and a cheese platter.”

“Cheese over here please!” Peter waved, only slightly frantically.

Remus was torn between taking a swig out of the scotch bottle, and fainting.

“This looks wonderful!” Sirius set the pie on the dessert table. “Now, everyone’s wearing name tags, so that should make things a little easier for you—”

“Wotcher Dumbledore!”

“Sarah, it’s been a few years, hasn’t it?”

The whole room fell silent.

“Indeed it has, haven’t really seen you since you told my little sister she was a witch.”

Remus thought his Christmas prayers had been answered.

“Sarah, are you by chance a squib?” he dared to ask. He only asked because he’d just taken a swig from the scotch bottle and was feeling rather chatty.

“Goodness, no!” Sarah laughed. “My little sister is a witch, I’m just a regular muggle. Been taking care of myself and her since I was seventeen. Our parents were very strict Christians, and bloody well kicked her out of the house at eleven years old. Naturally I didn’t think this was very Christian-like, so I up and left with her! Been working at the shop every since.”

“You knew about this?” Remus turned to Sirius.

“I thought you knew too! She told us the second time we went in; said she knew we were wizards the second we walked through her doors.”

“I don’t think he was paying much attention to our conversation that time.” Sarah gave Remus a knowing wink. 

Remus blushed. Lily handed him her scotch. He downed it with a wince.

“Now, I believe you were in the midst of making a New Years speech.” Dumbledore prompted.

“Right!” Sirius helped Sarah into her seat. She was far too close to Lily for his liking, but there was nothing he could do about it now. “Thank you all for coming, I know you lot are used to a lot more magic than this, but it’s a muggle New Years. Er—I think that’s everything.” He looked down at Remus to help him. The werewolf chuckled and nodded. “Yes, that’s everything. Tuck in!”

9:59 p.m.

“Bloody hell! You have GOT to be making up all this kissing shite!” James shouted, pointing up at the offending mistletoe. “Are there any holidays free of muggles traditionally snogging?”

“Well, I was only going to kiss her, but if you want me to give your fiancée a proper snog, all you have to do is ask.” Sirius said, staring up at the mistletoe. He’d pinned it up there himself, he rather wanted to catch Remus under it, but unfortunately, he knocked James (who’d been on his way to kiss his beautiful fiancée) out of the way.

“Just shut up and kiss me, Black.”

10:48 p.m.

Sirius and James stood off to the side.

“Have you ever seen her in a party hat before? Or for that matter, drinking in a party hat?”

James shook his head, smiling stupidly. “No, she’s bloody brilliant, isn’t she?”

“Who, Evans?”

“Yeah, who are you talking about?”

“Marlene! She’s in the bright pink party hat, dancing with Dorcas.”

“She’s dancing rather aggressively, what on earth is in her drink?”

“They’re getting rather close to the—oh… OH!”

“That does explain quite a lot, doesn’t it?”

“To each their own. Good on you, Marlene!” Sirius raised his glass at the thoroughly engaged couple. He may have whistled, or at least attempted to. Remus actually whistled.

11:59 p.m.

“Sarah, dear, I think the spot over by the bookcase would be a little better, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I think you may be right, Dumbledore.”

Remus watched the pair suspiciously retreat to the far side of the room. With the tables and chairs vanished, people were just milling about, drinking and chatting.

James and Sirius grinned. That wasn’t suspicious at all.

“Hey Padfoot, what’s—”

“Shhhhhhh! It’s the countdown!” Sirius dragged Remus into the middle of the room. 

James grabbed Lily and ran into the kitchen.

“Padfoot, what are you—”

“10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5—”

The crowd never got past five, because at 11:59:55, all of the Christmas crackers around the room started exploding in a shower of various colour sparks and a variety of interesting bangs. Remus swore he heard Sex Pistols, and the Beatles in fray. 

With the two of them in the only safe spot in the room, Sirius got on his tiptoes again and kissed Remus soundly. All thoughts of the exploding Christmas crackers were quickly shoved aside, and replaced with the warm Animagus in his embrace.

Bits of ceiling fell on innocent bystanders.

Peter took to hiding behind the sofa. 

Sarah and Dumbledore watched, hiding their smiles behind their cups.

No one else got their New Years kiss within the proper time frame.

Sirius and Remus couldn’t have cared less.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year to all my lovely readers! I know it's a little late, but that's okay, right?
> 
> I'm back in Japan again, and am yet again jet lagged. On the plus side, I'm not sick this time around! It's the little things in life.
> 
> Thanks to Bunny for the title and general nonsense on this episode. I think she should publish her own fanfiction, too, don't you think? ^^
> 
> Have a wonderful new year everyone!
> 
> Remember! Please use Christmas crackers responsibly.


End file.
